Dont know what to do...

[Cianna]

Kaffe - LRT for me looks like this:

180s
Watching the way I interact with people. I actually started this just before the death of a dear friend, firmly committed to it the day of her services, and have been very successful... with everyone but H.

Taking care of all household duties (Have not stopped in 4 weeks, and wont.)

Taking care of the animals. Also one that Ive stuck with. Ive got several physical limitations that normally would have stopped this after a couple weeks, I found a way to combat that. Had to tweak it a bit, turns out my joking about my RXs came across as complaining to H. Full stop to that!

My FB persona. Lots of people would tell me that I was very negative. I saw myself as assertive and strong. Fixed that.

Being reactionary with H. This has been the absolute most difficult. H and I have always been extremely intense, passionate people. I had become accustomed to it. This is one of the key 180s I REALLY need to get a grip on..

Do activities without him.

Get back to working on my company, and actually COMPLETE a task inregards to it.

GAL
Get a job. Its going to make my attorney cranky, as it makes his job much more difficult, but.. I really dont care. Its more imprtant that I do this for me, and my M.

Ive also started looking for riding (horses) groups, and I really want to try to get back in with the Harley group thats local to us. I dont ride, I spent my childhood on the back of my grandfathers Harley.

Depending on my new jobs hours, I also want to get back out to the river, and start doing the things I used to do with H, just on my own. Im mulling it over on how to do it so it doesnt appear that Im doing anything to make him jealous.

SA - I can CURRENTLY survive, however him closing our joint account and as advesarial as he has been in regards to the finances, (Including hiding assets etc) I chose to just notify my attorney of the situation. My first instinct was to change all the info so he couldnt get to his new accounts, and pull the $150 he put in. Then I thought of responding to his text explaining my error and how I had planned on fixing it.. Or calling him to tell him that he cant close OUR account on a whim, and I am not a child to be punished... But, all of that is "More of the same" behavior. So, I did none.. left it to my attorney, and wont mention it to H.

Im also going dark until at least we get an agreement on the Temp Order of Support, and the only interaction I want after that for a bit is general chit chat, no R talk, no D talk. Keep doing 180s, and GALing..

Its my understanding that if the 180s are positive, then even if they arent seeming it make a difference, keep going with them.. right? I know my H would defintely see it as it was just a ploy if I stop any of the ones I have stuck with.