My mother is dying. XW wants to be my friend.

[tadpole1025]

Hi Snodderly. I'd be lying if I said that you were wrong. You are right: 24/7, it is on my mind. It [censored] because I can't really help it. I'll be thnking of something and it'll pop right back in mind.

Even with my mom being ill, I think about it. They were so close and like really good friends.

Letting go: by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Still haven't got to 100 percent.

I pray to God that I might feel some relief after Saturday, but can't imagine that happening.

I've been thinking a lot about our beginning a lot recently. And...that makes me sad.

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Mom started Chemo two days ago. We both agreed that I would not call her for a few days because of the sickness from the Chemo. I will be calling her tomorrow to check in on her.

She gave me some money a few days ago and it was enough to get an old beat up car. It needs a couple of tires replaced and the brakes looked at, but atleast it is wheels.

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I also get sad when I see sooooo many newbies on this board. I see names on here that were not here two and a half years ago, one year ago or even six months ago. My heart goes out to them.

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I am going on a blind lunch date this Friday. Scared.

Tad