I learned about additional rendezvous that happened recently - during work.
I just don't have the strength anymore. I don't know what I need to do anymore but just seeing him in the evening and knowing makes it worse. He doesn't share anything with me anymore. I guess he got really sick last night and didn't even mention it to me. Only did when I tried to talk to him about something and he was just so unresponsive and uncommunicative. I left the house for a few hours. I did not show him tears or anger - I just said I was going out.
