Left Behind Husband on the Left Coast II

[MrBond]

"The D is not an inherent consequence of the mistakes. It was how she chose to react to them. You are excusing her from any responsibility for this sitch."

Nope I didn't say that she was excused for her bad behavior.

"Blame the victim?"

I didn't say that either. It's usually a fact. In fact, you said that you weren't exactly involved with the M and was depressed. At that time she believed that she couldn't open up to you and when her guard was down, the OM was there to talk to. That's usually how it starts. Talk to sandi about that.

"You're mindreading. And mindreading somebody you don't even know."

Go back through your posts and you can see where that came from. No mindreading here.

"Mindreading and assuming. You don't know her or me."

I don't need to. This happens in the majority of the situations here. The WAS doesn't want to deal with the LBS for a number of reasons (shame, past hurt feelings, etc.). That's just the way things are.

"See above."

See above.

"Like I've said, you haven't read my posts. It was not a family friend. It was somebody my father (and occasionally myself in the distant past) had a business relationship with."

He worked with you and your father so I said family friend. Either way, it freaked her out enough to take out a TRO on you. That's just the fact. Sorry that it happened, but from her POV, she probably doesn't want to go through all that drama.

"That's just the way it is. You can't argue with what and how she wants to feel.

Mindreading."

Nope. You really can't argue that it's how she wants to feel. Right now she doesn't want to deal with anything in the situation. Is it the healthiest way? Of course not, but running away if how she's chosen to deal with it. You were the one who wrote about how badly you acted in the M, not me.

"Amazon does not have a book by that name."

Sorry, it's called the "Walk Out Woman"

"Mr. Bond, I don't find your posts to be very helpful."

That's a shame.

"To be frank, I find you abrasive, arrogant, hypocritical, and I think you're too in love with the idea of yourself as some sort of "tough love" guru swinging his clue-by-four around, dispensing wisdom from on high."

Don't know where you got that from. I just have been here for over 5 years, so I've seen countless situations and reconciliations. You can either have someone sit in your pity party with you or you can start really understanding the dynamics of your situation and start turning this ship around. I had many people who helped me and there were some whom I agreed with and many I didn't. Irregardless of the advice, I always listened. Even those whom I disagreed with, I learned from. You learn that just because you disagree with someone, doesn't make them wrong. If you see me as that, then that's YOUR choice.

"You don't know my sitch and you don't know me as well as you would like to think you do."

We can only go based on what you post. No sense in getting mad because I don't know you as a person. You mentioned all the wrongs you did in the M, so the end product was that your W left you. That's just the way it goes.

Do I believe your M can be saved? Of course it can. Is it going to be easy? Of course not. Once you go back and actually read what was posted, you'll learn and know how to move forward.