This is the first time I'm posting to you but I have followed you on UD's and meredith's threads.
Being the WA in my sitch at first, I fully understand the feelings you are going through. I too "just left" in her mind, but that is not what my intentions were. I too wanted to give our M the space it needed because were ready to battle like never before. The trouble is, I never communicated it properly to my W why I left, until a few weeks after I left. This is MY mistake.
So, she has her version of why I left and I have mine. Two totally different views that I think will never waver. She will always believe that the reason why I left is "just because". In order for me to move on and try to gain her trust back that I would not leave again, I have to accept what she thinks. And one day, she will accept my version.
I am not saying that she or I will change our minds about the other's version, but I am saying that okay, I'll accept your reasoning and lets build on what we have now.
I really hope this is what you can do. He is home now. It doesn't feel like it and probably won't for a bit. Accept the fact that he has his views and then move on. Build on what you have right now. Take it slow, easy and just keep DBing.
Forgiveness is hard and there has been alot of hurt involved in your sitch. You have a chance to build on a R that can last with a lot of hard, hard work. Just keep the DB path and I'm sure you will go far.
Congrats on him coming home. Now go out and build that trusting R you deserve!
Triple J
Things were different then. All is different now. I tried to explain, somehow..........
Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
