My Five Year Update! Yep! It's Been That Long!

[mkultra]

I completely agree that this can not be a coincidence and that I am also an emotionally unavailable person. I made it my goal to date because I was used to saying no to men. Maybe I was used to being married? Then I got seduced by some very interesting and younger and attractive men. They were not ready. Neither was I and I got really hurt. I do not see any signs that they were hurt but they keep coming back. I have been pretty much alone since my separation. Just casual dating and the friends with benefit which is almost like an affair. I feel like I cannot go backwards and I cannot move forward. Even though my divorce was finalized on my birthday, ouch. I still act like I am entitled to romance and marriage. I honestly thought that I had fallen in love. I must be wrong. I am doubtful now. Does that make sense? I just feel that I was supposed to grow old with the man I married and I did not need to date anymore. Ugh. Thank you for reading!