KD how long do MLC's typically last? Is it common for a spouse to come back for 4 months at a time. That seems to be the pattern with my W. Come back 2x now and only last 4 months etc... Just curious. I'm reading 3-7 years. Wow
"Makes complete sense. One thing that is very frustrating from a hubby perspective is she expects me to mind read."
She doesn't "expect" you to mindread. She just feels that since you've been going out for so long that you should know how she feels. All married couples go through that. YOu need to tell her that you CAN'T mindread every time she brings it up. Because she refuses to go to C, this pattern will always continue until she "gets it".
"If she is hurt or something bothers her she will not state it or if she does weeks later after festering. She does this to avoid conflict. She also will NOT ask for help ever. "
But that's HER choice. If she snaps at you weeks after something had happened, tell her that you need to know when it happens and not after. And that you are not responsible for something that she's upset about when you don't even know she's upset. Tell her that until she actually communicates with you, things will remain the same.
"how long do MLC's typically last?"
You do understand that an MLC IS NOT a disease. It's a life transition. If your W was really in an MLC, she's in a state of flux right now. YOU have to call her out on bad behaviors and beliefs that she's changing right now. If you don't, she will continue to take out her frustrations on you.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thx bond . Last 2 months not much talking. No conflict because I don't engauge. She snoops my stuff but there isn't anything to find . I feel she trying to find any little reason to jump ship yet again
I committees to 12 steps of alanon and have great mentor. All I can do for now
Not sure Gabby what she is. She doesn't treat kids like this, family, or friends just me . She goes out and does stuff. MLC or pmmd or both . Definitely is miserable 2nd half of cycle .
MLC because she looking at her life and blaming me for unhappiness. She decided to get a tattoo last week . I'm guessing it is was , MLC ,hormones , etc
Yes I take alot . What are my options ? Filing or detaching . I'm getting help for me with alanon and have a sponsor who is legit . I need to fix me first and then make a decision
Yesterday came home from work and awkward situation came up. Me and my wife were alone. Kids both went to neighbors and me and wife are never alone. I remember 25 telling me to see this as opportunity. Prove to wife we can be alone without pursuit or pressure. She was getting dinner ready and I noticed she had steaks for the grill. I offered to grill them up and she said no its ok I'll do it. I was feeling a little anxious so I took the dog to fill my truck up with gas and game back.
Dinner was almost done and I sat down at the kitchen table. She didn't sit with me but she sat in the kitchen at the bar. She ended up talking to me about stuff. It was good conversation. First time in a long time. I then went to help a neighbor move.
At night she sat in room with me and watched the hockey game. I was up late due to triple overtime. I skipped gym this morning and put S on bus. I did say "have a good day and she practically ignored it" Seems she doesn't like when I say this so I will make note to myself.
Tonight is Alanon. Really wish the meetings were longer then 1 hour!
Gabby and Bond seem to say same thing. I take her anger and frustrations . What do you suggest I do when she spews? Bond says look her in eye and say I won't be spoken to that way ? Bond did you suggest telling her she could leave .
