Hi everyone! Tomorrow W, Ss, and I head to the beach for a week. It's going to be a real test for me. I so want the S's to have a great time. And w and I too, of course. Please pray for us all. Me especially to keep my expectations at zero. And my nerves as I have to look at w in her bathing suit all week .
Relax and remind yourself that this trip is not likely to make or break your M. Just keep things light and friendly, and be your confident, comfortable new self.
And of course, as I'm sure you know, this means NO R talk.
And boys at the beach? You're worried they won't have fun? Now that's funny!
I've noticed many H's here lament over the fact that they have to see their W looking hot in revealing clothing. I see it differently. For me, it gives me more reason and strength to stand. You know, like there's the prize! I hope this makes sense and didn't offend any ladies here.
Remember: You're the H she would be a fool to leave.
Mtn at the beach>>>>
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Concentrating on having a great time, enjoying the boys, and no R talks, makes some good boundaries that whether or not W has a good time.....YOU will look back with fond memories.
Enjoy it!
rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Beach trip was lots of fun. We had a very fun time as a family. Boating, swimming, beach, movies, putt putt, roller skating, etc. No R talks though w and I had a night just the two of us.
It's been hard to come back to reality. It was nice being a family for a week, and sharing a bed with w. I do know this, she still doesn't sleep, stays on phone constantly, and drinks more than she should. We did have one night where we had "fun"! It's been an ice breaker in some ways.
W was impressed with my tan, roller skating (no falls, like riding a bike), wouldn't leave my side playing laser tag (nothing brings a couple together like shooting young children) and made boys move so we could sit next to each other at the movies.
She has lots of trips planned this summer, and it is hard not to confront her about those. One change is she now refers to her apt as the girl cave.
So, no change in us, but trip was positive if anything. Trying to be patient, and get readjusted to the way things are.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Welcome back! I'm glad to read that all of you had a fun time. Sounds like everyone was busy w/activities. Did anyone get any rest?
Keep those expectations at zero! The trip was a positive and whenever you get down, think about the trip.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just think, it's hard to get back to reality after vacation even in the best of M's.
You've got a lot of positives this brought out, keep up the good work on your appearance and not confronting her with R talks, etc.
rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I knew you guys would have a good time. I hope our coming trip goes as well as yours did, though I don't see how it could... there will be no young children to shoot! You really made me laugh when I read that.
What about the time alone with W? How'd that go?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Thanks everyone! Time alone was ok FY. We went to a beachfront restaurant and just chatted. Nothing about us, just stuff. We always laugh when we're together.
This is so hard. I miss her terribly bad. Just having her next to me for a week was nice. Oh well.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Forgot to add. Yesterday w gave me the once over and made a comment about how good I looked when I got home from the tanning bed. Then later she came up to my office "because I wanted to tell you bye" before she went out with friends.
I'm trying to not bring up the r, but it's not easy.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
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