There are others that use to post here that still have their spouses and ex-spouses still on the lam. So, you can't go by what you read here. It takes as long as it takes and some come out and recover nicely and others remain stuck and become bitter old people.
Linda, I really don't care whether he comes out or not because he's not my problem.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
