Jax, If I understand correctly, your W moved out and you split the kids 50/50. First, I suggest that as long as you wish to reconcile and remain married, then you should support your W and kids -- BUT within reason. You should figure out a budget carefully and then review it with your wife, using Validations and good communication throughout.
About your W getting baby-sitters -- in some states I think D agreements usually include a "right of first refusal" that essentially says that if one parent has custody and needs babysitting, then they should first offer for the other parent to care for the kids before hiring a babysitter/daycare/etc.
So I think that a good budget, would not cover extensive babysitting so that your W can go out. If you have the kids 50% of the time, then she has those days/nights to go out.
