A quick read of your interaction with your H tells me that you're not really following the advice of DB. You should avoid the fights and not respond to his instigations, or respond in an uncharacteristic way, act "as-if" in the book she explains this well.
Also, remember you do not need to respond to text messages or return phone calls. When interacting with H, speak in a level tone and walk away if it gets hostile.
You need to slow down and think through what you want.
