I was searching for a great gift for weeks prior to our anniversary. I ordered it, in what I thought, was well in advance. It showed up several days late. True, I could have been looking and ordering much much farther in advance, but it was not something I intentionally did wrong or was neglegent in. It happened. It sucked. I own it.
In regards to making all of the plans, I felt I was being a loving caring husband. I thought by INCLUDING my wife in the plan making, it would allow her to chose a portion of how we celebrated. perhaps I was wrong, but I still don't understand HOW? I mean is it honestly more loving and caring to make plans without the consideration or input from your spouse? Explain that to me.
As far as me seeking "credit" for this upcoming anniversary, that has never been my goal either. The way I am looking at it is, if she is involved in other activities, with other people and does not wish to engage me, then why would I suspect she wants a anniversary message from ME? I am not mind reading. That is literally the path she has taken. She has completely shut me out and distanced herself socially and personally towards me. She has verbalized it, 25. I thought maybe I was being "loving and caring" by simply letting her go live her life and not bother her with MY feelings or expressions. You see it differently and you mind read yourself and paint this picture. That's not fair!
In regards to me not understanding how we got here with our marriage, you took it out of context. I KNOW we had problems. I have admitted them. I have owned them. I know I wasn't perfect, nor was she. We didn't have the "ultimate marriage", of course we didn't. However, the extent our problems were, at least to me, reconcilable. I cannot understand how our lives together ended on such a note with so little effort. Personally, (and actually my counselor, pastor, friends, family and even my attorney) feel that our issues were 100% completely fixable. Our MC quoted this during our initial visit; "you two only have micro movements to make in order to get back on track". Our issues should not have been a death sentence to a 12 year realtionship with a 6 year old child. THAT is what I have a hard time understanding. That is what I have a hard time accepting.
