Well, I can say for sure that your h has done a number of the things that my xh did. My xh was sure he didn't want to work on the marriage and wasn't going to file until I stop all of the crazy going back and forth about what he wanted. Once I instructed my lawyer we were not proceeding after 2 1/2 yrs, he then stepped up to the plate.

I would say that your h, for your description, is in mlc, but like Raine pointed out, we won't truly know until his journey has been completed and see what has baked up in the oven.

BTW, you aren't being silly, but I do think you are over analyzing him too much and it's got your brain working in over drive.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.