Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[JJAC2005]

A little updated note to pass along to anyone that starts to notice any changes in their spouse while detaching or going dark or implementing any of the number of techniques designed to help a situation.
For your own sanity….don’t over think or over react…and NEVER let it be known that you are overly happy or excited.

I was given a great gift over the past couple of weeks…..I was granted time with my ex and my step kids, primarily the SS, whom has made me smile to no end.
Just knowing that I have touched his heart as much as he has touched mine has meant the world to me…..and I can see that it touches his mothers as well.
Which is the point that I am trying to convey here….I know that she still has some very strong feelings, but I have been like a dog waiting and overly excited to get her attention and affection….smiling too big and staring too long at times….sending her a message to stay guarded and don’t take down the walls just yet.

Last night at the ball game I arrived early, and just as I was getting out of my truck the ex pulled up next to me…getting out of her car with a smile and starting some polite conversation almost immediately. Then she handed me one of the cookies that she had baked for the team after game party….and since she knew how completely distracted I was she then reminded me my windows were still down and it was about to rain.
The point is, I, or anyone in this situation, cant really read too much into these types of run-ins….even though the entire ball park was open for parking, that she didn’t have to give me anything, that she didn’t have to sit next to me at the game…any of this is more or less her just being nice….and it’s a hell of a lot better place to be than the opposite…so don’t over react, and let her continue to set the pace of the interactions and new friendship.
The advantages of keeping yourself on a lower key will help to create mystery, and she will continue to want to explore that more and more over time….its so important on so many levels to remain positive, sticking to the commitments you have made over the past months on all the hard work of 180’s, GAL, and healing…continuing to look better, be better, an ultimately becoming the kind of man only a foll wuld walk away from!
I am still hopeful….and it feels so good to have that hope...and will continue to be patient (LOL) or trying harder to be more patient than my excitement wants me too be.

Once again I am remided to “Hold the Vision….Trust the Process”


Side note….I came here to save my M…to regain my relationship with my exW.
I have found so much more and continue to grow in that knowledge.
I have also found out that there are a lot more people out there that have become divorced as I have and have eventually reunited with their ex….and I’m not just talking on the site, as just yesterday I had a talk with a fellow coworker who I was just sharing my excitement with from the past week/weekend, and he didn’t even know I was divorced….but relayed a story that he had 2 close friends that did the exact same thing by reuniting with their ex spouse a few years after the had divorced….underlining the changes and growth we all need to go thru to become a better husband/wife/partner/friend.