I don't think it's dysfunctional. I think to a certain degree your W is, because this is something that's important to you and as a spouse, I think it's important to be giving (to a degree of course) to your needs.
Having been through the part of our relationship where I had to work harder and harder to generate any interest on her part, I've come to not enjoy that mode of a sexual relationship. So I don't find myself particularly inspired by those TV and magazine relationship experts who say that foreplay starts in the morning and lasts all day, and that if I take out the garbage, take care of the kids, and take my wife out for a nice candlelight dinner, then it's going to result in sex. Well, I've tried all that and it doesn't result in sex, ever. I actually enjoy taking my wife out like that, and we go often. She loves it. But no sex.
But going back a step, I kind of resent the advice that well, at our age, we couldn't possibly expect to be the love rabbits we were when we got married. Excuse me, she had no orgasms then either. But at least she was interested. And why can't we still be like rabbits? I am! So don't tell me I can't possibly expect it.
