Not at all. I get it that you're hurting. I get it that you are feeling depressed. We all have been through that. I'll do you one better when I say that my W's former OM came to my working place to get me fired and arrested for some BS charge because I caught him with his pants down.
Well, I guess that beats a LRO coming into work to serve me with a TRO.
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However, there comes a time when you stop feeling sorry for yourself and truly take responsibility by understanding that the situation is half your fault. You get strength from that because you know that it's also in your power to turn things around.
Like I said, I own all the many mistakes I made in my marriage. I am just having a hard time owning the divorce. I didn't force her to do this. I wanted to reconcile after finding possible evidence of a EA/PA. SHE chose this. SHE filed, not me. She didn't even tell me she was going to file! SHE is the one who refused to meet to talk about this face-to-face like adults. SHE was the one who made the ridiculous accusations. SHE is the one who made it so we cannot communicate except through my lawyer.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
I doubt it's been easy on her. She may act like it outwardly, but inside I bet she's really struggled with it. My W seemed really happy and satisfied when she moved out and was on her own, but months later she finally admitted that inside she was in a lot of turmoil and would often find a quiet place to cry alone. I was really surprised because whenever I saw her she acted like her new life was perfect.
I know you're probably right; it's what MWD tells us, after all. Still, I read about all the WAS on here who occasionally let their walls slips around their LBS, and it guts me. I've never seen it.
Originally Posted By: Patientman
LeftCoastLBH: can you do anything to help facilitate the growth she needs to go through? If you can do it without applying what she perceives as pressure, then help. Otherwise, I suggest getting out of the way completely. If you can't help then there's nothing to do but take the high road and be the man you want and need to be. Love her enough to let her be.
I don't know what I could do. I'm open to suggestions, but I think I have to let her walk her road herself. She can be so darn stubborn sometimes, I think it might be pride? It just bums me out she can't see all the changes I've made. And I don't mean that she won't see them, I mean that our sitch makes it so that she cannot.
