Looking to keep hope alive

[ALF213]

Thanks for the support H61! It is tough living in the same house. With that said, I'm not looking forward to our separation soon. At times, things seem ok between us and I think she assumes I think things are getting better. That is not the case though. A good stretch is usually followed by her feeling sad or acting rude.

We had a good few days to finish the week, and then she was distant/rude yesterday. So I made myself scarce when she was in the house and went to bed earlier than normal. She didn't come to bed until late (1am). I left for work before she was out of bed this morning. As soon as I pulled out of the driveway she texted saying to have a good day. I didn't any initiate contact throughout the day, and I kept my responses short. She contacted me more often than normal. Part of me thinks she is doing it out of pity (I know assumptions are bad). W has always viewed me being scarce and short on words as me being upset (which was right more often than not). So she is reaching out to me because she "still cares about me". I'm not upset though. I'd say I'm annoyed with the ride.

When I try to give her space, she pulls me back in. Around and around I go. I feel like I need to get off the roller coaster at the next stop. Detaching has been tough for me. Sometimes I wonder why the heck I keep doing this.