I think a lot of WAS's move out and once they find that moving did not bring them the happiness they expected, then instead of searching within they think "oh, this didn't work, I must need a divorce to finally be happy." So they suddenly push quite strongly to get the D over with. But divorce isn't the magic bullet they want either. At that point they either start doing the soul-searching they needed all along, or they continue on in life unhappy and in total denial about why.
That's what the post-D LBS has to hope for.
I DO think that the pressure a WAS feels is alleviated in different ways depending upon the person. For some it takes saying something and threatening separation. For others it is actually moving out. For others it takes divorce. For others it takes trying new relationships. It all depends, and it also all depends on what the LBS is willing to endure.
Of course, the pain of that endurance is lessened by dropping the rope and moving forward.
But the anger feelings are valid and natural. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way as long as some negative action doesn't arise out of those feelings.
LeftCoastLBH: can you do anything to help facilitate the growth she needs to go through? If you can do it without applying what she perceives as pressure, then help. Otherwise, I suggest getting out of the way completely. If you can't help then there's nothing to do but take the high road and be the man you want and need to be. Love her enough to let her be.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
