Thanks for getting here and giving HBH your insight, Cianna.
HBH, Cianna spoke to something else that I was thinking about. Often, from my understanding, swinging "groups" have their own code. As Cianna mentioned, there's often a strong commitment to upholding each couples individual relationship OVER AND ABOVE that of the groups interests.
That said, a possible reason your partner passed the info on to your W's partner would be related to that. IOW, if you and your W are falling off, the group could actually drop the two of you from their mix and your partner was making the "safe sex" issue an open issue amongst the group, not just your W's partner.
Hope that makes sense.
IOW, even if you and your W did not have a "rule" regarding the immediate need to disclose issues such as this, you have likely learned that it IS LIKELY REALLY IMPORTANT to make info like that available to your W (and the group) as quickly as possible.
