My Story -- Heart Hurting

[Hurt But Hopeful]

Cianna, thanks for responding. A lot of wisdom there.

I am perfectly fine with her staying in a poly R ... the guy is married, and she's friends with the wife too. He will never leave his wife because she donated a kidney to him, so they are quite literally bonded. She does it because it's part of our local fetish scene, and that's not stuff I am into.

I didn't research poly enough, and also didn't choose my intended R carefully enough, either. I don't want to continue in poly, or as a swinger. I want to be strictly with my wife. I have no problem with her continuing in poly, as she's never given me reason to think anything was fishy.

Our counselor has dealt with swingers/poly people before and is completely non-judgemental. So maybe we're lucky.

I would like my marriage structure to be loving, non pressuring, understanding, and any dreams, hopes or desires we have we would share with each other. Open lines of communication at all times. I think we can get that back ... right now I don't think she believes it, which is why I'm working at DBing.

Thanks again for checking in. Sounds like you have your hands full with the H.