KD so I'm seeking sanity validation. I know you weren't around when I made the vacation house comment but do you think this is quite extreme to get her stuck back to where she feels again.. It was driving me crazy for awhile. I was like huh. You want to end the M again because of that comment.
Hint on the cryptic message: You can watch other member topics and find stuff that's relevant and works for you. Just don't expect that the sitches (nor appropriate support or advice) to stay the same for long. Your W is driving her own ship (the one with the broken rudders) and it ain't moving in a straight line nor likely following the same ocean current of other WAS/MLCers of LBS who are here. IOW, your and Crimson's sitches may not stay the same for long because your W is spewing right now, and his is just unsure. Those are two different paths and so will diverge the paths.
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On your sanity validation. Look... here's the deal... you have work to do on yourself...
AND...
You ARE sane...
Detach...
Because you are not going to feel sane when dealing with your W, right now.
Took me a while to figure that one out. When I detached and had enough time with sanity... I started to finally accept that I'm NOT crazy.
IF you W is MLC, you will not get this, in my experience. My W had soooo many reasons to be rid of me, the majority didn't make sense, at all. Was it as reason? In her my, yes...perfectly valid. In a world without MLC, most likely not, it could be worked through.
The only place to seek sanity validation is within YOU and maybe a few trusted others. So, was it a "sane" reason for her to want to end the M? In her world, at that moment, probably...so it was valid for HER.
I found a very helpful little book called "The Four Agreements"...check it out, helps a lot with perspective and fits right in with the philosophy here.
Quote:
“The Four Agreements”…
Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best.
Hope that helps some... T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
also reading the solo partner and they talk about distant/pursuit. I'm guessing if my W is truly in MLC it doesn't matter what I do. This distance game won't help. Nothing will help but them working it out themselves
