Thanks for the additional advice. Both of these approaches are certainly different than what I have tried in the past. I have been hesitent to try some of these in the past because I didn't want to be seen as pursuing my wife.
Since you've been in your sitch this long, I'm guessing you've probably read 5LL? If so, how long ago? One of the things talked about in 5LL is how both spouses will often do nothing even though their love tanks are empty because they are waiting for the other to fill it. On and on they go in limbo, each waiting for the other to do something. So the premise in 5LL is to quit waiting and be the initiator.
The same could be said for DB'ing, DB'ing is not about performing particular actions, it's about doing things, evaluating whether they worked or didn't work, and to keep doing what works and discontinue what doesn't work. DB'ing is not static, it's quite dynamic.
So if you've been stuck this long, it's probably time for something else. I was going to suggest trying to push some of the love languages, but I saw your followup in which you said you asked W to leave, so you should probably table LL efforts until you see where this goes.
