Not confused...looking inward

[BRNR]

Thanks T^2-

I don't know if most MLC'ers are "happy" around the LBS (if I understood you correctly), my readings lead me to think that we LBS get to see the mlc'er as they are inside (scared, mean, cold, distant) and everyone else in the world gets their "showtime" actors face of "ain't my life great now that I am done with spouse".

Yes, you understood me correctly. I have always understood it as we get to see the opposite of what they actually feel. So maybe that was/is my mis-understanding of things.

Hearing your experience of this view while going through this journey is most valuable. All the books and readings in the world aren't as valuable as real life experience(s). So I do thank you for sharing that personal detail with me (and everyone now..LOL)

please remember it is THEM, not you, it is so hard not to take it personally, but that is what we must do...

Yeah, I don't take it personal...I think it is merely sad. H was always such a morning person. Happy, cheery, always had a smile. I don't see that anymore, not even when our boys come into the room. He is soo much doom and gloom. In one of our text sessions recently I had said "Have a nice day and don't forget to smile",trying to be light hearted. I got a response "It will probably be a long time before I smile again." It actually led into a small texting convo back and forth where I could feel angst, and that he wasn't happy. Truly I was concerned, and I think we did have a tender moment where he appreciated my care and kindness. At least that is what I felt.

Back to reflecting on that, it was a couple of weeks ago. I felt a connection in that exchange, and maybe that is what led to the one after where he asked me for advice on his work issue...IDK. Guess that would be mind reading on my part and I try not to do that anymore. Fuels the emotional fire for me.

Thanks again.