Bad Timing and Making a Mess of Things

[AnotherStander]

Sorry you find yourself here, but welcome to the community! Glad you finally came out of the shadows to participate

Instead, I feel like despite knowing better I keep making the same mistakes and sabotaging what could have been a million chances at reconciliation.

We all backslide. MWD says in DR to not let it get to you, just pick yourself up, learn from it and keep moving forward. You've already seen the DB techniques work, so at least you know what to do!

He wasn't financially pitching in to my taste and wasn't making time to help out with things that needed taken care of at home.

Have you read the Five Love Languages? It's very helpful in teaching us how to communicate our wishes and needs to our spouses without it coming off as nagging. It sounds like you had legitimate concerns, I'm just wondering if perhaps the way you presented those concerns may have seemed like nagging to him.

He's moved in and out of the house no less than 15 times since then.

Wow!! That makes me thing that maybe you're letting him come back too soon. Before letting him back in again I'd suggest a commitment to MC and/ or Retrouvaille.

I'm finally posting in the forum because I've seen with my own eyes that the DB techniques work for a struggling marriage. Training for a half marathon brought him back. Acting as if I was moving on with my live without him brought him back. Going dark brought him back.

Thanks for sharing that, it always helps people when they hear that the techniques do work

So here I am 2 months away from having our first child together and he's just informed me he's 'talking to' another woman.

Congrats on the pregnancy! Sorry to hear things aren't going well with H though.

I need to do two things. 1) Start with a beginners mind (and am looking for suggestions) on how to DB as a pregnant lady with limited options for GAL and 180's

For GAL you obviously can't go crazy since you're 7 months pregnant, so just stick with baby-focused stuff- getting the house ready, reaching out to friends for support, exercise as much as you can, etc. As far as 180's, I'd focus on this:

He hates that I'm indecisive and change my mind constantly

Think about what you can do to change that pattern. And the patience too, which is a huge issue of mine as well. DB'ing sure teaches patience though!

How do I keep my hands off the send button to let him live his life?

Just remember what worked in the past- time and space.

Good luck!