Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

6/11 bright and early we see each other in the kitchen and I said good morning.. I told her that I did not like the way we ended things last night and to remember even though there are a lot of things said, not to forget the good things I have said about her. W’s complaint for a long time is she feels that I don’t appreciate her and what she does. And I truly do appreciate what she does and I don’t want that to be overshadowed by our disagreements on other subjects. She said because she does not hear that enough, she gravitates to the negative of the conversation. I agreed with her and said how I too do that and that is something I am working on. She said she is happy to see I am focused into becoming a better person but that she feels she wasn’t worth it enough for me to make the changes before. I told her that I was blind and ignorant of what was making me unhappy and that it was because of her the desire for change started and will continue. W also said last night that she feels like I never wanted to be with her. So she has the same insecurities of the relationship that I have/had.

In a way I see this as slipping up but don’t know the effect of it yet. My goals are now to see how to express my emotions when I have not been drinking. I tend to be able to express my feelings if I had a few in me. I need to learn how to do that well with nothing in my system. Another is drinking less. I don’t drink that often or as much as W and I use to but I think it would be better to set limits and goals and cutting down even more.