thank God I see the Dr today just really not in the mood to hear her crap today in therapy.
I guess you are correct on this. I did have a good session. still feel like crap always in the morning. But I do have to start really taking care of me. I love my W still to this day even when she is Cheating on me with an other woman. A woman that was friends with both us during the last year of W and I living together. God I hate her now.... But I have been reading lots of Bible stuff and all i see in this with the scriptures to back it up is if i give myself to the Lord he will restore the marriage. That is all i can hang onto at this point. I Pray that what W if doing is heavy on her heart and at some point will find her way back. But I need to be ready for that to happen and I can say now I do not think I am ready yet.
I found that I have lots of pent up anger and hurt still that I need to work on and get out.. I also need to find a place to live and I hope to buy. My DB coach said to go out and buy a house and look for something you like and that W may like as well. But I honestly need to find it for me.
I do not wish harm on anyone but i do think that aat some point something has to happen to push my W over the edge with what she is doing. So she may see that what she is doing and how she was being to me was wrong. But i also know my W and her pride will not let her say sorry. So I just put this in your hands God and pray that you can help me to get better and to do what you have to with kristin to have her see the error she has made. Im not saying she is the only one that did wrong but I think she needs help. She is looking for something and i think she has been influenced by this Gay girl.
Tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary and it is a little hard for me but I am sticking to the plan that was told to me. Hoping that it may spark something in my W. But at the same time I can not set myself up.
So in the morning this is all im going to say May Gods blessing rain down on you today and bless you on this June 12 2013. I hope this finds you well on this day!
I hope she gets that it is the wedding anniversary and has not forgot it all together. But I was told to send this in the morning to give her time to think and respond to it. I just know me and how I have been. If she does not respond I am sure i will feel hurt. If she responds with just the TY like she has then I will feel hurt but ok. so I have to be ready for this. She did acknowledge the anniversary last year first so lets see what happens. The only diff this year is that I think she is with a GF now. But i think she was with her then to even when we were living together. She would spend nights at her house. looking back who knows she may have been cheating on me then.
Well anyone have any input or insight to all this??
