Yes, well said. I'm just into 6 mo since BD. I thought I was making progress in these last few weeks. In fact, I invited WAS for a bubbly to celebrate sorting out the wind-up of our UK flats (we're now both in her home country - which is also mine.) And she accepted. H/w this week she also said that she wasn't prepared [until 6 months] to have counselling about raising our baby (15mo) as co-parents. And, harder for me, she told me today that she will start job hunting using her maiden name. That hit me really really hard as I thought she was softening. But, nevertheless, I sent the following email (removed names for confidentiality). I share it because it was hard to overcome my initial grief and harder tone, and I was/am proud of this. I think you're right that the WAS wants to justify a very hard choice they made. To DB, we must gently, persistently, patiently, not be that justification. Even though this has been an incredibly hard day for me. I go to bed feeling good about that email too. Bitterness & resentment are such false friends. Being the bigger person especially when it is hard, leads to contentment.
Keep the hope LBS everywhere.
Hi WAS,
Thank you for letting me know as it would be harder to hear this through another channel.
I guess I wasn’t expecting this just yet as I am still working through this separation in my own way. But obviously this is your decision and, although I can't deny that I feel very sad about it, I want to support you as much as I can in this situation.
I do hope you don’t want to deny your successes as -Prior name- though as they were plentiful!
All the very best with the job hunting. Please let me know if I can assist with anything.
