Hi Portia. I think you did well with the contact. When attempting to rebuild a connection, I normally would advise no question(s), as that begs for a reply, which when the receiving partner wants out of the relationship, could be seen as pressure. But you questioned with wit and levity, so that cancels any pressure out, I think.

I too agree with Scott and Linda that even a neutral response like the one he gave is a good thing. Remember, he thinks he's done, so you're not going to get a wonderful loving response. My goal would be to maintain a connection without pursuing, and slowly build on it.

I'd continue to do this until I didn't want to/couldn't any longer. Only then would I go NC. No playing mind games with my life partner for me. I know others see it differently, but there you have my take on it.

One thing's for sure... if neither of you contacts the other, then it's over for sure. Bust On!

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl