Okay, under threat of chomping (eek!), here's my update. H spent the night Sunday night and it was absolutely lovely. Monday evening we played our game until almost 2 in the morning.
My uncle (who is my childcare provider) had to have tests for his CAD (as in heart disease, not drafting), so H was going to watch S during the day before his bloodborne pathogens class (required for the licensing for his business). Well, I ended up having a snow day from work, but H was already on his way when I found out I didn't have to go in. He walked in shaking snow off his shoes and carrying a bag full of McDonald's food. (breakfast for all of us - pancakes for the little guy and bacon, egg, and cheese bicuits for us.
I apologised to him for making him come out in the snow for now reason, and (to my surprise) he said "I would have come over anyway." So he hung out most of the day, we napped and snuggled and (again, not at all something I expected). Then when he tried to leave for his class, his car battery was dead, so I told him he could borrow mine (then I'd get to see him again, but I didn't tell him that ). So he came back at around eight (after the shop closed) and took us to Walmart - all was going just fine until he showed me that he was buying padlocks and inside latches for the bedrooms in the bottom half of his shop (he, his partner, and their assistant guy all live down there). That actual real reason he bought them was because the shop isn't zoned for residential, and the city inspectors have been sniffing around - they just come in and look around if the shop is unlocked. Don't you just love how responsible and permanent his choice of residences is?
Anyway, I flew off the handle, and accused him of putting inside latches on the doors so he could get it on (I kid you not - direct quote) with some woman and not have anyone walk in. Now, I have no reason to think he has an ow - the actual OW moved three hours away (back to her parents' house, cuz she's only 19 and she had to get treatment for borderline personality disorder). I just freaked out - I thought it was a message that he was settling in at the shop and was never coming home and I kinda lost it.
Well, we went home, and I told him I was just really scared he was never coming back. He didn't say a whole lot, and left. A little while later (after S was in bed - it was 9p at this point) he called and asked if I wanted to play a little. We played for a while, and I pm'ed him and told him I was sorry, I felt I'd overreacted, and I didn't know what had gotten into me.
He said "I don't know either" and we went on with the game.

Well, last night we were trying to play while S was still awake - so I was on and off at the keyboard, and I got really frustrated with S, and I called H and told him that I was going to drop him off with him tomorrow (I really love my son, so don't think I would actually do this - it was more an "I'm tired of doing this alone" statment). Then I hung up on him.
After I calmed S down and took care of the huge mess that prompted the call in the first place, I called back. Then I told him that if he would come and stay with S some nights, I would stay elsewhere. He offered to come over the next night - tonight (I don't think I am going to have him do that, because I have stuff I need to do at home without H underfoot )
After i put S to bed, I got back on the computer and we had a great night playing.
I still figured I'd blown everything, but today he called me shortly after 12 at work to talk about - nothing. Just kind of rambled for awhile, being chatty (this from the guy who HATES talking on the phone).
(whew - deep breath)
Our one-year anniversary is this weekend, and I had asked my mom to take S a long time ago. She asked me about it this week, so I said I would talk to H and see what he thought.
Well, I asked him one night when we were online otgether, and he said "Have her take him." That made me happy, because it means he at least wants to spend SOME time with me for our anniversary. In the past, occasions like this have always been bad because I get really weirded out that and think he is going to forget (he never has). Then I get mad at him for forgetting it beforehand, and try to control what we do and when we do it, and heaven help him if he deviates from that plan!!!! My mom asked me today if he was going to work on Saturday, and I said I didn't know. So I called him and asked him. He said I don't know, probably (in a teasing tone) and then said why? do you have something special planned? I said no. And he said "so I just get to spring everything on you?" I said "I guess so."
Then I said, " So you don't want me to ask what we're doing?"
And he said "That's right, so be quiet. (again he was teasing)In the past, he has told me he really wants to surprise me on special occasions, but when I talk to him about it or get mad because I think he is just gong to ignore it, that ruins it for him.
So - I a going to try to go with the flow. S will be gone all weekend, so I am going to concentrate on catching up with my housework and such as a Plan B in case H pulls something squirrelly and really doesn't want to do anything.
Not trying to control this terrifies me! Any pointers or observations, guys?
Thankies,
Myrrh

One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.