Re: we own a business - pt 10 ... its about me!

[makingmagic]

Snodderly, I replied to you regarding support programs in PONs thread. I think the questions need to apply more specifically. I am ready to do the work !! I want to work on myself!!!

As for the MLC link, I did read it... not alot of that applies to h. Although, alot of "other" MLC script is pretty similar.

I understand he is on his OWN journey and right now, that doesn't include me in the equation except for work. I understand that there is no magic pill that is going to cure him over night. AS MUCH AS I WANT THERE TO BE!!

He's not going to snap out of it just because I've been nice or given him space (however, I thought that this helps the process for the MLC/WAS).

I suggest that you read up on MLC because it sounds to me, from your postings, you don't have a true clue as to what it is.... oh I have read ALOT and have alot of compassion for him and others. I used to be disgusted when I would see an older man in his flashy red convertible, dressed to the nines. I used to think they were pathetic. Now, luckily my h isn't THAT guy. But, his MLC is real. Feels life is short and that there has got to be more out there for him. He is seeking happiness. He thought/thinks that money was going to provide happiness. Just today he realized he may need to spend some of it (as just having it in an account, wasn't making him happy).

As the LBS, I fail to understand and get confused in the goal and what my part is in this. I am trying to focus on me (hard to do, when I am so used to focusing on him). I understand this is his journey to take and he will figure out HIS part. But, I don't understand what else I can be doing to help (from the distance). I need to put the mentality in my head and stick to it. What person do I need to be to make this better for him? Am I supposed to be his friend? Do I stay dim. How can I be friendly and dim? As a friend to my friends, I am involved. Does keeping the lighthouse on/pathway smooth work? Is the goal to let him feel like I am the only one who fully understands him and is still by his side? or am I to have disappeared far enough to let him figure it all out. Please help me understand how to be for him, for my head. (does this make sense?).

.....Please don't just say, NVM about him....work on me! I get that part. I need to put a mantra in my head that when I am around him, I can understand how I need to be.

Working with him seems to ease his desire of time spent with me... just like I worried about. I am really trying to be pretty strict with my business mode and not discuss "personal"...however, he does bring up personal convo during "work" time... trying to be social.