You know, a few people have told me that she seems to be lacking in terms of emotional maturity. She often referenced this "flow" that she thought we should have where everything just kinda worked and we totally "got" each others moves. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that if that is even attainable it requires a lot of time to get there. More realistically I think that individuals are always changing so relationships are always changing too. There is no finished state where the other person fully "gets" the other. That, to me, is part of the challenge of being together. That is part of the work.
I intend to go pretty dark during her time away. I have no plans of reaching out to her at this point. I'm hoping she can just use the time to reflect a d think as you said. Her father hates me and thinks I'm not "right" for her and that all my attempts to save our marriage/family were about me not wanting to pay her. That I care only about money. He will be glad she moved out and away from me. Just a guess there, but I feel pretty confident on that one. Her mom and I remain pretty close - not that I expect support there but at least I won't get trashed.
To this day I am still mystified about his notion of "feelings". Honestly, what does that mean?? We had fallen back into being intimate. Affectionate. I would hug her out of the blue and tell her how beautiful she is. I just don't get it. How can a woman be intimate with someone she has no feelings for? Hell, men do it all the time - I just thought it was different for women.
She said yesterday that she couldn't yet say "I love you" to me or be as affectionate. But doesn't that come with time and the reestablishment of trust and a sense of safety? After all we've been through is it reasonable to expect that to come flooding back?
Hell, seems like I'm asking the same questions I did 8 months ago! One step forward......
