Becoming PatientMan II - Still En-Route, Post-D

[PatientMan]

I mostly listened and have been really good at STFU-ing. (And I've been practicing validating on my unsuspecting daughters. )

She kept saying things like how her emotions are all over the place and she's afraid to tell me how she's feeling because she doesn't want to pull me in different directions. How that isn't fair and how *I* need a fair chance at healing too. How *I* should be able to be okay and she shouldn't interfere with that.

So I asked her how that is working out for her (rhetorically, because she was in tears).

I did tell her that I'm doing "fine" and "okay" and even that I am "well." I told her that she didn't need to worry about me...that I am a big boy and can take care of myself, and if she has something that she would like to say, she can tell me. I can handle it.

I did tell her that I wanted to help her, but that she continues to tell me that my help isn't wanted (via her quest for independence), so I don't. I told her it isn't easy for me, but I stand by out of respect for her.

At times I feel like she is looking at me to save her, and if I could just come up with the perfect combination of words to say everything would be magically fixed. But of course that is a bunch of gobble-dee-goop. You're right, Spartan, she'll let me know if she truly wants to R. But that look in her eye...whew.

And you were right about the pedestal. I don't know when exactly it happened, but it isn't nearly so high.

-PM