Okay, well - a couple people asked me to clearly state my goals, and so I am starting a new thread to do that, and hopefully starting a new chapter in my DB'ing.
Big goal 1: To not fight with H anymore. Breakdown: When he starts pushing my mad buttons (cancelling plans, being preoccupied, no paying attention to what I'm saying), I will NOT respond! I will come to the board and post, journal, or write him a (non-mailable) letter.
Big goal #2: Stop pressuring him/pursuing him about coming home, coming over, etc. Doable goal #2: I am going to work on getting my domestic sitch in order (the house is a mess!), spend time with DS, and try to get in contact more with friends.
Big goal #3: Act like things are normal. Someone asked me "what would normal look like?" Well, I guess my real goal here is to be more accepting of the sitch as it is, rather than how I want it to be. I would stop having big R talks, stop panicking and getting angry/crying when he isn't as affectionate as I wish he would be sometimes. I want my interactions with him to be calm and pleasant.
How are these new goals? Thanks for any input, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
