Re: we own a business - pt 10 ... its about me!

[makingmagic]

Of course I want to spend as much time as possible with him. But, that comes across as needy, so I declined today saying I had errands and other work to finish.

During our ride together today, h opened up about his "feelings". He said alot of the same stuff, he feels he needs to stay at the house with his mom for a while still, and therefore is still debating on putting down hardwood and knocking down some walls, to make it more liveable/fun when home. He also said he hates living with his mom and feels like the stereo type. Hates that he is "mommied". He says he wants to runawaya. Says he wants to enjoy July and August and go seadooing as often as he can. He had pizza again all weekend, and is getting tired of the pizza, chips and beer nights. Spent the weekend working, as late as 10:30 on Saturday night. His buddy is all in love in his new relationship and is travelling in Europe (soon or now?? dont recall). He keeps saying things like "I dunno" and that he wants to runaway. He is feeling old and that he needs to start enjoying the money. Which is why the floors/walls comment. He also enjoys the knick knacks being gone for dusting purposes, although he enjoys the homey stuff. He says he will be a minimalist when his reno's are done.

I tried to validate along the way and did not interrupt. I nodded alot (even tho I don't agree). I validated by saying "I understand how you must be feeling" He seemed to pay attention. I also said "I trust that you will do the right thing" and that I think he should go seadooing this summer. He also asked about my plans, if I was getting enjoyment out of spending time living at my parents. I said no, and that I was working on some things for myself. I didn't expand.

I can tell he is lonely.

I didn't reach out my hand to comfort (like I do) or turn it into a R convo..... as much as I wanted too.

I know he is looking for some huge uplifting thrill. He just can't seem to find it... although, he is working way too much to have the opportunity.

I feel that when I pull back, so does he. I am really surprized that given the amount of space and time I have given, that he has not come towards me. I am discouraged. He seems so sad.