Heres my update. My wife did go to MC (by herself) and opened to the C a little. She does not show any signs of wanting to work on our M and told the C that she is not likely to come back to MC. I feel now that it is better that she not go until if/when she wants to work on M. No surprise there. She is so done with me right now.
Don't invite her to MC. I don't see how it can help the situation at this point.
Originally Posted By: BKS
She also seems to be withdrawing more too. Not sure what to do about that. The 180's I have done seem to annoy her more than anything. I feel they annoy her because I am not giving her any reasons that she could use as an excuse to leave, not that she needs one. She doesnt seem to like that I am in a good mood when I am around her either. Especially when she is not in a good mood around me.
So the DB-ing is working, it is making her reevaluate why she wants out of the R. The only suggestion is whether you are doing the right 180's. If you are, then eventually your W might acknowledge them. It took my W a few months before she said something positive about any of my 180s.
Originally Posted By: BKS
She still avoids conversations and interactions with me. I just give her the space she wants. I feel she is not getting the space she desires due to us living together (we are basically roommates with kids). Our interactions with the children force us to interact and I feel that is wearing on her too. I am out of town for work on average 4 days a week but, because I call the kids every morning and evening to say hello, maybe thats not enough space? I dont know if it is or not.
Living together is a positive for your sitch so that the W can see your 180s, your GAL, and your PMA. Don't jeapodize that . Maybe stop calling when your away is good, or at least call less. Your kids can go a day without hearing from dad.
Originally Posted By: BKS
I have MC on Wednesday and I have no reason to believe that she will attend with me. I only tell her I have an appointment so if she chooses to go, she can. Vets, please critique my update and let me know where I have made any backslides please.
BKS
Don't invite her to MC. Keep the DB-ing going.
My W is in MLC, the direction of her unhappiness has shifted from me and our Marriage to her job. This has made our interactions better, she has expressed love, but then backs away from it. She runs hot/cold. One night we can have fun together and laugh, and the next night she is distant and moody.
If your W is in MLC, then this is a long journey by all that I hear. Look for those small improvements that DBing instructs us to look for.
