Thanks for taking the time to reply, AS. I think that when you are sort of blind-sided you (at least ME anyway) I fall out of DB mode just out of pure shock.
As painful as it is, I think you are right - I need to just give back time and space. She is on her way to Iowa tomorrow and I will keep to myself for the most part.
It just feels so "all of a sudden". Just a few days ago we were writing down goals of things we would like to to (her request) travel, things around the house, finalizing her move here, and so on. We had even made a goal of going out a socializing with old friends and couples - which we did. Like I said, it wasn't even a week ago. I just don't see how everything turns on a dime like that. My head is spinning.
I'll try to stick to validation - but in the midst of things falling apart sometimes it feels like validating is just giving up on everything. Academically, I know better - but it just feels that way.
3-4 months ago she constantly spoke of how her condo "did not feel like home to her" and how it felt "temporary" and how she was "unsettled" there. She did NOT frame it in the most flattering or "homey" terms. But over the last few weeks the narrative shifted to "I had my routine there", "It was a home for me and S", "I like my neighborhood". All the while, we were enjoying ourselves and our family here. What happened?? Hell, we had a DATE planned for last night.
I'm calming down some, I guess. Just very hurt and need to put on the brave "as if" face again. More like dust it off. I didn't sleep well last night despite being mentally exhausted....emotionally, too.
