My mother is dying. XW wants to be my friend.

[tadpole1025]

Thank you everyone.

I remember from earlier posts that you once had a career you loved. Is it possible that your joy and self worth partly disappeared with your career and not just your marriage? You've had two major losses, but which one is really keeping you from recovery?

Hmmm.....honestly, I no longer want my career really. It isn;t what it used to be.

Are they allowed to see their mom get married without feeling a dumpload of guilt from you? Can they have fun?

Yes. I've told all of them to go if they want to. I've told them this many times. Two of them are going and two have chosen not to.

Are the anti depressants helping at all? My guess is you need an adjustment. No offense meant.

Haha. I've actually been off of them for two months. I chose to take myself off of them.

I know you think I'm furious and harsh with you.

Oooooh yeah, but it's okay 25. Really. I appreciate everything that you and others have posted to me here.

It is very very hard to let go emotionally of someone you love, and it does sometimes feel like one loss after another. But life is full of loss as well as gain, and sometimes the balance seems in the wrong direction.

Big time!



I really don't know what else to post right now. I just wanted to respond to everyone.

UPDATE ON SITCH:

XW gets married this Saturday. I feel weird......The other day, I ALMOST felt a sense of relief about the whole thing. Kind of strange if you ask me.

UPDATE ON MOM:

She met with her doctor last Thursday and they have decided on Chemo treatments for the next few weeks. After that, they will evaluate the situation and figure out where to go from there.

She told me yesterday that she wants to give me about $2000 so I can buy an old clunker to get around in. I haven't had wheels since October.

The boys and I are going to see her today.

Tad