Wow, that's a terrible development. Your H is doing some classic cake-eating- he's actively engaging in an EA that he apparently plans on pushing to a PA while also pretending to be working on the M with you. You're in a tough spot because DB'ing discourages snooping and confrontation, so what do you do with this info? I would take it as a strong indication that he's not invested in saving the M, he's just trying to keep you on the back burner while he works on a new R. I would stop all pursuit and all efforts to "save" the M for now. You've got to work on yourself and leave him to his craziness. Give him time and space.
