H said what were my ulterior motives for being "so nice and not hating me? You should be sooo mad by now..why aren't you? You think by you acting like this it is going to save"your" marriage or make me give up my girlfriend..because it is not going to work."
It's actually pretty common for the WAS to resent the LBS and get angry at them over their changes. In their mind they've already mapped out how everything will go and part of that is that the LBS is supposed to get angry and hateful which makes the WAS's job easier because it allows them to feel justified in what they've done. So when the LBS instead shows remorse for their actions and actually does 180's on their wrongs, it leaves the WAS with no ammo. The WAS will often do mean things to try and make the LBS angry, so when you see that, recognize it for what it is and don't react to it.
Quote:
I just kind of sighed and said I didn't know what the rules were for this because I had never been thru it.
In the future try "you've helped me to realize I had flaws, and I am committed to bettering myself. So these changes you see, I am doing them for myself, to become a better person." The WAS thinks that when they see changes they are just tricks the LBS is using to attempt to lure the WAS back. The WAS has to see many months of consistent changes before they'll start to believe they are real and not just tricks.
So sorry you're going through this, but this crazy stuff your H is doing is actually not uncommon. Just stick to your DB'ing, it's your way through the madness!
