KD, you suggest "game face" and I understand that. Being relaxed and himself around me. Assuming that I will love him regardless of how he treats me. And yet you suggest this is a good thing?...is it really? Can you expand?
I don't really know how to put it in a way that might make sense for you.
If you understand "game face" than you should also understand that people with a "game face" are not being authentic.
You have the authentic person. That is a good thing.
It's not that he assumes you will love him regardless or anything like that. It means that he is not being fake around you. He may not feel like saying bye or hi to anyone, but feels he needs to put on that fake face to others. Not to you. So you can take it as he doesn't care enough about you to "lie" to you about what he is feeling or wants to do or you can take it as you are the only person he is being real around.
Don't take it personal. Because as much as you think you are hiding it, you're likely not. So you have to genuinely focus on knowing this is not about you and not analyze what he is doing. He is going to do crappy things because he feels crappy. So when he does, think "he must feel pretty low right now to react that way, and that's okay. I'm going to act positive because I feel positive. I'm positive because I like me and has nothing to do with the people or situations around me."
You can do it!
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
TX Guys !!! I've been refuelled to go another round!! Thanks for your support.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Friday & Saturday were decent with h... moments spent with coffees/snacks/extra time, etc. Sunday, he celebrated last minute with his mom for her bday, he textd DD to invite her, not me.
He told me this morning that he invited her, I asked why he didn't invite me. I got excuses.
Today, he offered to take me to Costco (as I had mentioned I wanted to go last week) as part of our travels today. I'm going to decline. Maybe, I've been to convenient lately. No more "anxious" coffees, either.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I think you got this one backwards. Don't ask to go to things with him or force him into situations where he needs to lie or make excuses to you. If he reaches out to you and offers something, it's okay to do it.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
I think I should let him know it hurt me to be excluded. We are able to work together, coffee, eat & hang out together... this wouldn't have been such a hard thing to do....for his MOM!
Quick... waiting for your comment on this! Leaving soon!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
oh... and as part of sandi's 37 rules..... are we not to accept EVERY invite out? be more casual, not so eager.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
You're right. You don't have to. It should be what you want to do, not what you think it's going to do for the situation. I don't think now is the time for you to show emotions to him or let him know you're hurt. It will make you look weak and needy.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17
