T, I'm glad everything turned out great yesterday for your little one's birthday.
As for the photo, it is very telling. If he's smiling and there isn't a "deer in the headlight look" to the eyes, then he's well on his way to cooking up nicely.
I'm glad the photo was taken and you need to frame it and look at it each and every time you need strength to carry on.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
