You gave your H the strength and courage to leave his casino cave, Look at your FIL's actions -- he has been your H's role model of how a man should act. I am proud of YOU, Mz. Jay, because you looked deep through the surface to try to figure out what was the real reason you H was reluctant to leave the blackjack. And then complimented him and bolstered him in just he way he needed. Hopefully he WILL become a good husband someday (it seems he plans to be your H for many years, I found his answer SO hopeful!) but YOU, Mz. Jay, are a good wife right now!
I've been lifting your MIL up in prayer. It's sort of strange praying for someone whose name I don't know, the relative of someone whose name I don't know either. But I figure God knows who I mean. This MLC insanity will sure break or strengthen a person's faith!
Your H not wanting to leave the casino to be with his sick mom reminded me of something my H did to me when his Tramp was here for 2 weeks in March. I had a little problem with my heart and needed to have a procedure. My H told me he'd come home to be with me but did not. Afterwards he told me that it was a really hard decision to make, but he knew I would have my coworkers from the hospital there with me, and knew I'd be okay. I said that's probably what the Tramp told you too, and he said that's not exactly what she said. I bet!
I figured he'd chosen sex with the Tramp over supporting me, and that HURT. But your musing about your H made me realize that my H has always had a really hard time dealing with sickness and death too. Maybe he just could not face it. He didn't have anyone encouraging him to be a good man, just the Tramp encouraging him to do the opposite. You have helped me to forgive him, thank you.
Please keep us updated. Hang in there.
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17