I do not know whether it is reassuring or disturbing to learn just how many people have the same issues with their MLC spouses.
Mine was a spewer, First Class - all sorts of phrases jumped off the page at me 'He has to be right', 'he never calls to see how I am or the kids' 'She still thinks she co-parents our kids'.
Central scripting is still on the case for these people. 7+ years on my xh remains in MLC. I do not think it would have made any difference (although of course I will never know) if I had remained in regular contact or had these long periods of no contact. I did block his emails for a time.
I had sporadic contact for a time again in the last 18 months, and initially he was pleasant, if strange, but he is back to being defensive and somewhat abusive.
Snodderly reminds us, we didn't break them and we cannot fix them' We really need to focus on ourselves, and not expect them to wake up and realise what they have done and how they behaved )if they can remember, which most of them can't).
So do what is best for you. As you get stronger you may be able to deal with the contact. I felt it was like dog training - if they spewed they didn't have contact. eventually my xh got it, to some extent. He is currently having time out for being out of order [again - sigh!] Clearly most of them exhibit a degree of needing to remain in contact with us to some extent, but it has to be on our terms, not theirs.
