Hey GM. I could give you all of my usual DBesque and personal development thoughts that I wanted. At the end of the day, it seems that some of us just don't hear the end of it.
We've all heard the saying, "Don't go away mad, just go away." Somehow, our spouses choose the former. They wanted us to go away, yet they just won't stop.
That's one of the things I am still coming to terms with. Truly, I think that with the amount of spew that still comes from my stbx, I must have been the most horrible person in the world. And I wonder, of all the examples of proof that my friends can give me that I AM a good guy, it somehow pales in comparison to what I have received negatively from stbx.
That said, I had been unable to communicate with my stbx. This is a bit of a vent. She still thinks we're co-parenting, when the only thing I ever hear from her about the kids, is when I get a message saying I owe money for something she spent money on regarding the kids, without letting me know in advance. They can be valid or quasi valid items like glasses (without discussing first; the only way I knew glasses were necessary was from comm with kid) to bday gifts to youngest's friends, which I didn't even know she attended. The point being, it's all still assertions without discussion. As you mentioned, more of the same. This being a pattern throughout our M, stbx making executive decisions on most things, without prior discussion.
Finally, the only method of comm that worked for me, was email. Even that was tragic contact. But I never blocked stbx. And eventually, while I still get anxious with any email from her (in the form of, "oh geeze, what now"; which is pretty much every case once I see the content), it has become easier as I've been detaching.
Blocking is really a form of "dark" or N/C. Eventually, detaching will help you. You can use his inbound email to test your level of detachment. You likely still have a ways to go to be detached. I certainly know what that's like. I'm sure others do, as well. You can't control his spew. You can control your triggers / buttons. Try working on that.
