B, I sincerely hope that 18 post-BD you are further along also. This isn't where I thought I would be at this point. The speed of healing has a lot to due with the length of the marriage, old emotional wounds that are triggered, how the M ended and the D process, to name a few. I remember sitting in a Divorce Care class a month after my H left and was astounded that the majority of the people there were years beyond their Ds, but the pain lingered due to continued issues with finances, kids, etc. I thought, there is no way that I'll be one of them. Well, I didn't quite get it then. I do now. Healing can take a long time, if done well and thoroughly. If your self-esteem was intact at BD you very well may heal at a much quicker pace. I sure hope so.
