Crimson.....Holy smokes, I'm piecing,

[2thepoint]

Crim - based upon what you wrote it sounds like your Ex is scared and with the ending of her lease on the condo, her last place of escape is going to disappear. This is what seems to be spooking her.

Perhaps you could alleviate her anxiety by extending the lease for 6 months. Think about the message that would send to her in terms of you really showing that you are putting her feelings ahead of your own. I know covering for two households has got to be a drag on the finances, but if it helps you advance things, then it might be worth it.

As has been suggested, I really think you ought to discuss Retrouvaille with your Ex. You can bring it up in the context of you both needing new tools to help improve the relationship. Instead of being concerned about how she might perceive things, perhaps you should just be open with her and tell her how you are feeling about even broaching the topic because you don't want to come off as pushy. The honesty has got to count for something. Don't you think?

Meanwhile, keep working on the validation. I'm no expert but from what you write, it seems like you spend too much time explaining and not enough time listening, actively.

There is a humorous video out that to my mind illustrates exactly what women need in terms of validation. If you google "it's not about the nail" you will see the link to the short video.

Give it a shot. Good luck and hang in there!