Hi fellows, how is every one, she is going up and down, she wants me not to take him out of town, just said no problem. Don't want to go into conflict any more just declared with her. Jus not worth, she keeps bring so much of noise. And we just don't have a heathy way for me to hear what she thinks and I have just started emailing her only present issues
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Texted me asking , why havnt I cancelled my divorce filing yet, is she asking me to do it or just indirectly letting me to do that. It's got to be straight forward and upfront, I hate the indirect nonsense she comes up with
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Well, I am confused and shocked by this move, I think she is testing and seeing my reaction, I can't be fooled again, she need to own up to her part, I can't be taking this bull all the time. she keeps complaining that I started the divorce process in reality she always was the first to talk and even send papers to me for the first time. I filed it even before she sent me papers for mediation but she insisted that it would be a way to get divorce. I never served her, waited for things to clear, but she just sent me paper to my work address. I think she is coming to realization or I don't know what she is smoking, she is indecisive and keeps changing he decisions like night and day. I need her to put every thing infront on table before even thinking of any reconciliation or any kind of retrieval.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
With, out of town issue I aggreed to not take him,as she stromed me with a 2nd email with in 2 hrs , she would cancel all my mid week over nights. The reason was I did not acknknoledge her last email. I usually give some time about 24 hrs to not jump into snap judgments. Allow it to sink. Now she cancelled the mid wk over nights and I was thinking should I ask her, I have stopped asking her. She, texts me and emails me, I will keep it that way. Now we have a part time nanny to take care of those wk days instead of me. I will just not argue or ask any thing about wkday or may be I should, I can't seem to decide. The point is since I agreed on what she wanted , she should not cancel my wkday over nights with me
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Don't keep letting her bully you into getting what she wants. Have that go through your legal counsel. If she keeps bullying you and you give in, she will keep doing it.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am trying to have as much as less conflict possible but she seems to ask lawyers and police for every small issue like scheduling. How can I not use legal way but solve issues with her face to face and find solutions, is this even possible
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
It's been a while, my court date is coming soon. Mid oct, i told her i wont retrieve papers and i decided i cant live with her. I asked her to talk many times before but she just keeps it all in her self. Spills the dirt anytime she gets labile. Suddenly she is letting my son for 3 days as the days are getting closer to the due date. She is just listening to her lawyer. I am just detaching my self and she is the one who texts or email, I just follow what she says. She showed all the cases of accusation of me not clean in my apartment, son getting sick when he is with me for 2 days. You name it she makes an excuse. it really hurts that she is so adamant and short sighted. Still in the survival defensive mode.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Just realized after talking to sister, I should have not put her on spot and given telephone to her to tlak to my mom, still don't get her at emotional state, she has this huge emotional barrier she is trying to clear, I need to give time and space
FYI, never make someone talk to someone else, let alone without notice.
You were doing it in a "I'll show you I'm right/so you're wrong" way as well, and there's just no way they could have had a good conversation. It was a set up for failure. See that sooner from now on.
Also, I am having a lot of trouble understanding your posts. Your English was better before. Take your time. You'll also get more responses.
More later.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I am making it one email per day not to over do things. So she says i have huge ego and was not owning my actions and decisions. she says i was responsible for all hurt feelings and i should own up to them.this was in response to email i sent saying i feel sorry and hurt for what she has gone through. She wants to hear: X, i am sorry for what i did to you. but you refuse to do this? ^^^ Why? What does it cost you to say you are sorry and that you caused most of the problems? You know you made huge mistakes. You practically ignored her AND your son for almost 2 years.
Why should you Not say "x"? Don't let your pride stop you from making progress.
Good grief. You said you loved her and wanted the family to stay together and this woman gave you exactly what she wanted to hear...
and you say..."she has to own her part". You sound like a 6 y/o.
You know better by now. You are better by now.
i sent the email michele sent this AM at 6 am as some thing to think. invited her for dinner on my sons BD on 30 th, she says i can take him for dinner but she need some time to go out with me for dinner. Fair enough, i just want her to realize what her role is and if she really owes up to her actions and choices. not sure if i should include it. i want to accept only if she honesty accepts her part
its GOT to be FAIR
\
I completely totally DISAGREE with^^^^ your approach.
Once AGAIN, your ego is taking over.
Once again your need to be "RIGHT" is more important than all else.
Once again, your stubborn refusal to see that it was YOU who was cruel to your wife
you who felt inconvenienced by your son, YOU who felt he was boring and just said "bah bah bah"...
I hope and like to think you are doing better now. You sound like it some days... except when it comes to the past. It's YOU who won't own it & YOU WHO MUST. From your own words we unanimously found you seriously lacking and then you threatened to call her unstable if you didn't get your way in court.
I mean you were shameful and just b/c your screen name has changed, I still recall your story in detail. Make no mistake, you SEEM smarter when you are around her. And
I understand your desire to "go from this day forward",
but of course your wife FEARS that you will repeat the old behavior
And if you refuse to admit it, if you cannot even see it,
then it's a lot more likely that you WILL REPEAT IT.
She must/will resist any reconciliation b/c you refuse to tell her what she needs to hear to feel safe with you.
Your "addiction" to being the martyr, is done at your peril.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
