Getting Uncomfortable

[RosaLinda]

"Not sure what's going on with me these days. I am struggling. Despite knowing how much H is going through w/his folks, I find myself wanting to distance from him.

I find myself resentful. 
Resentful that he can depend on me? 
Resentful that he can find time and compassion for his parents but not his family?

And these are selfish thoughts/feelings of course, so then I feel ashamed of myself."

Maybe you feel some resentment because you had just made the big decision to go dim, but you don't feel comfortable doing  it right now as your H needs you. But he still is giving nothing to you in return. 

I think your feelings of resentment are perfectly understandable since your H has been acting like a self centered crazy person, and you are worn out trying to hold everything together for the boys. . And you feel guilty because you are an empathetic, loving and giving person. But you shouldn't!!!

"S161 returned yesterday from State Track. (I don't think I ever updated that he was offered the opportunity to participate in the Florida trip next year, instead of having to miss half of it and buy a plane ticket for this year. Now, I am sure its just a funny coincidence, but the "go next year" option was not available at first, according to the teacher in charge. But then, the teacher in charge's son made the state relay team... and miraculously the option of going next year, at no additional cost, came up. Yep, I'm positive that just looks a little fishy   )"

Geez! What a miraculous coincidence! But I'm glad he'll get to go! Except I bet they make the states again next year!  Congratulations on finishing the laundry. It's never ending. You can have every piece folded and put away but all the clothes you're wearing are now dirty sigh...