JOURNAL: I'm just aggrevated. At her. At me. I'm screwing up my detachment process by allowing myself the expectations that she should be done with her trip and contacted me by now. She left a week ago today. Last Thursday she sent me the vague text about us.
Sometimes I'm so confused. Others I'm strong. Then I'm hopeful. Or maybe I'm angry. At times I'm so in love. Then I might me ready to end it all.
Filtering all of these emotions is so difficult. What do I really want? Who am I now? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to end up?
If I could erase it all and go back to before the affair. Would I? Yes. Wait no. I was happy. But I've learned so much. Was it worth it? I think so. Was it worth losing my wife? My heart says no.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
