Pushing Forward 2

[25yearsmlc]

Here's what I wrote to you months ago, and your reply:



Being apart from your w, but being happy.. imagine it in detail and describe it, and really give it thought. Now, please...

Any New hobbies? Are you taking a class or learning a new language? What would you do if you HAD to be happy, for your daughter's sake? What about travelling, any new friends, a sport or new friends? What would GAL look like?

Would you show your d's that without a certain someone in THEIR lives, they must give up and die? KNOW that They are watching you.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave them?

A legacy of your bad treatment of their mother (as their only memory of marriage), you being deserted because of it, and then what? You sitting on the lawn and sighing as if nothing is in your control b/c "the odds/OTHER stories are all so hopeless"....what a poor example for your children and what a way to NOT Live...


Why not show them (& you) a legacy of personal growth/redemption?

Learn & show the value of bravely looking within, being humbled by our flaws, finding the courage it takes to change those flaws, along with the value of redemption and commitment and love...

What about that ^^ legacy? Let's get on it.
NOW, what of those ^^ things can you do, in your life now?
_________________________



Then YOU WROTE:



This unfortunately rings true for me. W tried over and over to communicate with me that she wanted me there, but I was off somewhere else in my head. I treated her like sh!t for years, then was emotionally gone. She gave me several chances to change and I failed or didnt even try.

I do wonder if it is salvageable at times, yet I have woken up, this time is different, I cant explain it or prove it, just know it in my heart. I can not give up no matter how bleak it seems. I love my W and want to make up for the past, want to make a new better/different tomorrow.



First of all, what are your GAL and 180s and PMA and NEW people in your life?

Did you do ANY of this?

And second, after all your comments about being different and wanting her,
But if she's having an EA, this ^^ is all BS?


Really? You want a LOT of forgiveness from your w...a whole lot... and your w seems to want to do it. Incredibly fortunate.

But when it comes to HER making mistakes and needing forgiveness FROM you ...your head is somewhere else? You're "too hurt"? Well what about her pain from the decade (the decade you admit to, she says it was two...)

If you have to let her go, I'd say it's b/c neither of you is ready to recommit. You both need space and help. Truly.

But maybe in time and with a lot of therapy, you will be ready to recommit. I think you have you answer now as to what to say.

Stay on the path of YOU getting well

and worry about her path, a whole lot later.